read my mind...

A poem...

2006-06-22T11:14:00.000Z

ATROPHY

I am not together.

Really,
I never have been.

I live in imagination -
Holograms are easier
On atrophied muscles
Than the solid obstacles of Reality.

It's hard to die trying
and so
I waste.

myspace

2006-06-05T16:12:00.000Z

I just got myself a myspace profile.

check it out at myspace.com/chrisstoneattacks

I'll be posting some films and things up soon. If you're a myspace user, add me!

Oh for a bed to rest a while...

2006-05-12T12:50:00.000Z

Hello.

I'm tired.

I've just had a little read through some blogs from some friends, and they're talking about how great Jesus is, and prophesying about how now is the time, and how he's releasing healing and so forth. Which is great.

And I'm really glad that they're saying this stuff, and I'm even more glad for them because I know they know it and love it and it brings them joy to be in that place. And I dare say it's true. But the problem is I've heard it so much, and prophesied it myself, and prayed for it and, and, and, and...

and to be honest, I'm tired of it. Because in my experience we declare it and we tell people and we get excited and we are 100% convinced about it and we KNOW it... and what happens?

Sweet F.A.

God does bugger all.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

Well, that's not quite true. "He does" (and I use the inverted commas deliberately) just enough for us to be encouraged, and then nothing more.

So I'm tired of it. Not in a pessimistic, woe is me kind of way. Just in a matter of fact kind of way. In actual fact, the sun is shining, I am in a job I enjoy, I have friends I love, and I'm pretty content in myself. But I find myself reading stuff like this and, like I said, being incredibly glad that my friends are pursuing it - but just not having the energy to give myself to it right now.

I would like to not think about this stuff for a while, to take a holiday and lie in the sun. I'd like to lose the bags under my eyes and paddle in the sea and drink a cold beer and tell jokes with some friends.

Yes, that would be nice.

On the plus side though, see Shannon's post about the batman wallet. That brought a smile to my face. :-)

this is a perfunctory blog...

2006-04-20T17:00:00.000Z

more out of duty to the blogging massive than out of a sense of IHAVESOMETHINGTOSAY

Normally I premeditate these things, but today I thought I'd just write and see what comes out.

So I'm in yeovil. I've been working in yeovil since the new year, and I'm enjoying it a lot. For the past 5 years I've given myself to Bournemouth. I've prayed for it and cried for it and fasted for it and hoped for it. And maybe it made a difference, maybe it didn't. But for those five years I felt I had no choice. It was in my blood and I gave willingly out of a love. Really, it was no sacrifice. And five years on would I have done anything differently? Of course. But then retrospect is a deceitful gift. You can learn from it, sure, but I figure there's no point applying it, well, retrospectively. I would have done things differently if I'd known what I know now, but I wouldn't know what I know now if I'd done things differently. See?

Anyway, I gave Bournemouth five years, and I seem to remember a time, walking past St. Peter's church in the centre of town, when I had the strangest sense (God speaking?) that I would be here for five years. And look what happened. I started uni in bournemouth in 2000. At the end of 2005 I started work in Yeovil. How funny.

Why am I saying all this? I don't know. I said this would be a stream of consciousness.

I feel in the right place to be spending most of my time outside bournemouth. There are still lots of people there that I love a lot, and I am back there most weekends and I am happy to say I see most of them a lot, which I love. But right now I feel free to explore other places and other things. I'm thinking into the future and wondering, "where next?". Being at GRACE Productions has opened my eyes to the world of TV, and I know that this is, in part at least, what I'm meant to be investing in. So that means I need to follow that. And right now that sense of "call" overrides any similar sense of "call" to a particular location. So I guess that's what I'm following.

I'm also very aware, having spent five years IN Bournemouth (and the rest of my life somewhere near) that I feel very green and more than a little naive. I have a strong desire to go other places and see other cultures and to spend some time experiencing new things. And I kinda feel that this is neccessary to forge a strong foundation for any creative expression I'm gonna come out with. I'm feeling the need to grow up a bit if I'm to make anything that has depth.

And funnily enough, that's kind of reflected in my faith journey too - that sense of "growing up". Not in terms of i'm getting to see and do more and more exciting things (which, in my naivete, I took as the sign of growing in faith). The growing up in faith is coming in the shape of heavy questions that don't have answers, doubts that don't have resolutions, and a general lack of faith all round. I used to want to be a Christian superstar (what a plonker) and now I'd really quite like to just remember who this Jesus guy is meant to be. Seriously - it's all a bit far-fetched, isn't it?

So that's the shape of things at the moment. I feel in the right place and feel that God has put me there, but on a good day I'm not convinced in all this God stuff anyway, so what does it matter? And the irony is (and I've said this loads) that while my faith feels more fragile than ever, it also feels more honest than ever. And it's funny because I wouldn't go back even if I could. I'd rather be honest in my doubt than naive in my faith - and I think Jesus would rather that, as well.

BATMAN RETURNS

2006-04-15T11:43:00.000Z

Batman is my friend. (although he hangs out a lot with Shannon, I just get to see him when I visit)

He has done lots of daring exploits, and has travelled the world too. Most recently he went to Dutchland.

He has a photo gallery all of his very own. See it here NOW.

profundity

2006-02-16T14:14:00.000Z

Hello.

I haven't written anything up here for a while.

That may well be because I've had nothing particularly profound to write.

However, I felt I should write something so I thought I'd write this.

One day I shall find something more interesting to write about. Until then, here is a haiku I read in a book once that moved me:

Walking for miles
Arm in my pocket
Hoping you'll take it.

On reflection, I don't think that's how it goes. It can't be because it doesn't fit the haiku pattern. Still, you get the idea.

life in soundbites

2006-01-23T10:07:00.000Z

came to me via Gaz.

got this off of a new sky sci fi called thresh hold:

"a cynic is an idealist with a broken heart"

thought that told a tale.

New Year, New Season

2006-01-13T09:53:00.000Z

The below is lifted from Steve Lowton in the wake of his walk to Rome and with a view to the season ahead (see previous posts - if you're reading this, Steve, I hope you don't mind me sticking this stuff up here... any probs let me know!):

The story of the anointing of Saul in 1 Sam 10 has been very helpful to me as I have reflected on these things. After his encounter with Samuel he is told of three different signs that would occur. Then Samuel says,
"now when these three signs meet you, do whatever is in your heart to do, for God is with you".

It would seem to me that there are choices for us and those who have journeyed with us at this time,such was the evidence of the Lord's hand last year. We need not look for further signs but rather go with whatever is in our hearts.The cult movie "The Matrix" illustrates this well. To quote from the final key words of Neo:

"I didn't tell you how its going to end. I came to tell you how its going to begin. I'm going to show you a world without rules and controls; without boundaries and borders. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from here is a choice I leave to you."

2006

2006-01-07T17:18:00.000Z

A New Year - a good time to seek God for what he's saying about the next 12 months. Below are some notes on what I see for 2006.

A couple of points first: We prophesy in part and we see in part so I obviously claim no exclusivity or monopoly on any of this - these are merely my perceptions and must be weighed and tested. At the very most, what I've written below will form part of the picture of what God is saying for this year/season. So as such, I thought I'd submit this for your consideration.
Also, I find all this stuff pretty funny. You know, when I read through what I've written it seems like I'm reading someone else's words. Right now I feel that my faith and my relationship with God is more fragile than it's been for a long time (and that's because of me, not him). I have been lax (even cynical) in prayer and have found it much easier to choose my ways than to choose his - what I've written below has come out of the very few times I have chosen to seek God in the past month or so. So I submit this not as a saint in my own right (far from it), but as a sinner who thinks an outrageously graceful God might be sharing some stuff with him.

That said, here's the stuff I see:

A year for "crossing over":
- Babies being born / the fulfilment of overdue vision
- Opportunity to step into destiny

I'm going to try and put these in a coherent order, but they're all mixed in really.

I feel strongly the change of seasons in this new year period, and I feel excited about the opportunities that 06 presents. I feel that this year will be a time of crossing over for a lot of us. I've been drawn to the bit in Joshua where they finally get to cross the river Jordan. This is kind of the hinge point for the stuff I feel God's been saying to me re the new year. The crossing of the Jordan marked for the isrealites the realisation of a vision that had been long overdue. The crossing was only possible because of miraculous intervention from God. And the act of crossing solidified for them their destiny as a people - it was part of the fulfilment of God's promise to them. Incidentally, their identity does not change when they cross the Jordan (they are what God says they are, and their circumstances can't change that) but it is an important step in seeing the promises of God become a reality.

I feel like 2006 will be a year of babies being born, and I'm trying to explore fully what this means. Personally I wouldn't be surprised to see a sign in certain couples getting pregnant and giving birth. I'm not prophesying this over anyone in particular, but I do see a sign in one of my close friends: in the last month she has become maternal and has mentioned babies more than once, where previously she has been very resistant (and if you know who you are, I'm not saying God says you're gonna get pregnant - I just take your new openness as a sign!!). And I hear God talking about babies being born that have hitherto been resisted. I believe 2006 has the potential to be a year where we see breakthrough in areas - visions we have been carrying for long periods of time - that have previously come up against a degree of resistance. I feel like the waters are ready to break, like we're entering a period of low resistance to the visions of God that have been gestating for so long. Specifically (though not exclusively) this applies to visions that individuals have been carrying since 1994 (12 years).

In a similar way, I feel like 2006 will see a window of opportunity for many to come into a fuller awareness of their destiny in God. Just as the act of crossing the Jordan was, for the isrealites, a point of stepping into destiny - like they were catching up with their own future as promised by God - so it will be for many of us this year. I feel that for many there has been a serious question mark over their sense of destiny - and identity - in God as they have plowed on with visions from God but have become jaded by the amount of effort expended and the relatively small amount of ground covered. But tied in with this season of low resistance, 2006 will see breakthrough into a fresh awareness of destiny and identity. I'd go so far as to say that this could have effects on a personal, ecclesiastical and national level: I will discover more about who I am and be provided with the opportunity to step into that identity. The Church will discover more about who she is - her role in bringing the kingdom of God to the nation/s - and be provided the opportunity to step into that identity. As a nation we will discover more of who we are - of our role in serving the rest of the world - and be given the opportunity to step into that.

So, I'm pretty excited about 2006. I get excited most new years, truth be told. But I do feel a stronger sense of raw opportunity this year than I have previously. And I feel like if you want to see something birthed, then this year is a good year for it. If you want to start something new, then this year is your opportunity.

New Year

2006-01-05T00:20:00.000Z

New Year was a lot of fun. Some friends and I went to Pembrokeshire for a few days. If you would like to have a gander at us larking around in Wales, then go to Jib's site, and follow the link to "New Year 2006".

Christmas was a lot of fun too, but I took paper photos instead of computer ones so if you want to see those you'll have to come round for a cup of tea and do it properly.

sometimes this is how I feel

2005-12-27T11:40:00.000Z

If I ever feel the light again
Shining down on me
I don't have to tell you
How welcome it would be

I felt the light before,
But I let it slip away
And I just keep on believing
That it'll come back someday

It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
Its not the streetlights
On some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean

Sometimes
I try to tell myself
The light was never real,
Just a fantasy that used to be
The way I used to feel

But you and I know better
Even though it's been so long
Now if your memory really serves you well
You'll never tell me no wrong

It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
Its not the streetlights
On some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean

So if I ever feel the light again
Shining down on me,
I won't have tell you
How welcome it would be

I felt the light before,
But I let it slip away
And I just live for believing
That it'll come back someday

It's not the spotlight
It's not the candlelight
Its not the streetlights
On some old street of dreams
It ain't the moonlight
Not even the sunlight
But I've seen it shining in your eyes
And you know what I mean

(Beth Orton)

The Gospel according to Tumnus

2005-12-22T00:28:00.000Z

I went to see the Narnia film the other day. I liked it a lot. But there is one moment that really stuck with me. I keep coming back to it, and it's really impacted me. So I thought I'd share it. What I'm about to write shouldn't include any major plot spoilers, but if you haven't seen the film and don't know the story, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

The bit I keep coming back to is this: Mr. Tumnus is in the dungeons of the white witch's castle. I'm pretty sure he feels like he deserves to be there. He feels like a traitor (although he never got as far as following through on his plan). He feels like he's betrayed Aslan and his Narnian brethren, and therefore belongs in the white witch's dungeon. HOWEVER, despite his sense of shame, despite the fact that he sees nothing but treachery in his heart, despite the fact that he doesn't deserve mercy, despite the fact that he seems doomed to die... when he hears the name of Aslan, he gives the most wonderful look of hope. And it is that look that I keep coming back to. That one moment above all stood out from the whole film.

Because it reminded me of something of the character of Jesus - something I think I must have forgotten. It's the mystery of grace - that it doesn't matter what prisons we find ourselves holed up in, it doesn't matter who we are or what we've done, it doesn't matter how treacherous our hearts... even if our sins weigh us down and our hearts feel like stone, even if we judge ourselves and find ourselves guilty, even if we deserve all the punishment we heap on ourselves... as soon as we hear the name of Jesus, we can hope. We can hope that all is not lost. We can hope that our treachery might be forgiven and forgotten. We can hope that we might, beyond all probability, find our way home.

Basic stuff, but something I'm so glad God has reminded me of. Because it means that there is hope even for my treacherous heart. Jesus is amazing.

one night in bournemouth...

2005-12-18T00:31:00.000Z

Last night was quite remarkable, and by far the most interesting thing to happen this week, so I thought I'd tell you about it.

There's a big church in the middle of town called St. Peter's. Big... it's huge. And at night it's normally shut up tight. But it's also positioned right at the heart of clubland - bar med opposite, toko and bliss up the road... probably thousands of people go past in an evening. And so we thought - why not open it up? Shine some lights out the windows, make it look inviting... play some chilled out music (with speakers outside nice and loud so punters know that something's going on), put together some prayer-provoking installations, invite people in, give them tea, coffee and (as it's christmas) mulled wine, and make space for people to meet with God.

So that's what we did.

Steve had the idea, others of us caught it, Jon used his club-chaplianing superpowers to get things moving... a few blinks later we had a something.

Now the thing is this. When steve and i were praying about it at first, I thought it seemed like a brilliant idea. I smelt God all over it, and it felt totally within the remit of the passions and desires God has given me. So I was like "YES - THIS HAS TO HAPPEN". But the closer it got - even down to the last few moments of setting up on the day - I was thinking that we'd be lucky if three people came in over the 11pm-3am period. I knew we were doing something that God had put his yes on, but I didn't really expect anyone to be interested.

HOW WRONG I WAS.

Over the course of the night, we must have had somewhere between 100 and 200 people come through the doors. People were coming in before we were even open, and so many stayed on that we had to extend our opening by an hour. In the end, one couple only left when we had taken everything down and were looking to load up the cars. And not only did people come in - they actually engaged with God. Sure there were some who came just out of some kind of comedy curiosity and spent the time larking around (we had a beautiful life-sized nativity scene sculpture one of the guys had made... I'll save you the details but save to say some of what went on with Mary and Joseph last night would not be fit for your average school nativity). But that's ok. And there were plenty (PLENTY) of others who really did engage with God in meaningful ways. Either through writing prayers and pinning them on the net we had laid out, or by lighting a candle, or by chatting to some of us about our faith (I was struck by the amount of DEEP Jesus conversations that were going on throughout the night... and the ease with which they came) - or, as was with the case with quite a few, simply by just sitting and thinking/praying for themselves. I said hello to one guy, for example, who immediately said to me "Sorry mate, I'm not a religious guy, but I just want to do something on my own for a minute..." and then proceeded to bow his head in prayer. A number of us also had the priveledge of praying with people then and there.

I have to admit, I spent most of the night shaking my head in disbelief. I mean, what had we done? We'd opened a big room (admittedly a very beautiful big room with ornate architecture, but essentially a big room nonetheless) put some music on with some moody lighting... and people came in and engaged with God. They actually came. They actually prayed. They actually asked us about Jesus. They actually took pictures of themselves doing rude things with Mary and Joseph. 200-odd of them.

Oh. My. God.

James has posted some photos of the night on his flickr account. Click here to see them.

And I'll sum up by quoting his email to us post-event:

i just got home - and i thought - we saw over 100 people come into that church tonight.
thats over 100 people who may have had an experience of god - however big or small.

seriously - when was the last time that happened round here?

what an astonishing night.

Photos courtesy of sarah

2005-11-30T13:21:00.000Z

I never have figured out how to do the whole photo hosting thing. So to save me the trouble my friend Sarah has posted all her photos from the Faithless gig on her blog.

Immediately prior to our faithless extravaganza, we went to hang out in the snow in axminster for a weekend. Sarah also has a bunch of photos of that too. Have a look if you want to see my friends being very silly indeed.

Quite apart from that, sarah's blog is well worth a look. She's a wonderful person who has a lot of good things from Jesus to say to the world. If you fancy a good read of some thought-provoking stuff, check her blog out.

Now I must get back to work (naughty me, taking a sly break).

emerging church and all that...

2005-11-29T16:56:00.000Z

The following is an excerpt from an email I wrote to my friend Natanya following some questions she had re "Emerging Church". Check the comments on the post "some nice links" for the backstory, but I thought I'd stick this up here by way of response. Purely reflections from my perspective...

It's a funny old one, this thing people call "emerging church". The key hurdle is
that most people are looking at it as a "they" - a movement, a grouping or an organisation - in the hope that it will help everyone understand what "they" (emerging churchers) are waffling on about. The problem is, there isn't any such thing. There's no organisation, no centralised movement, no collective theology that everyone subscribes to (that is, apart from the basics... but a different label is given to those who subscribe to the basics of the gospel.. they're called christians). There just happen to be a bunch of people asking questions and some bright spark somewhere thought he'd lump them all together and give them the label emerging church. And then some even brighter spark who would now be considered an emerging churcher thought it would be a good idea to use it to refer to himself, and WHOA! suddenly you've got a something. And as a result you get people like the lady who wrote the website above who start to do things like assess the doctrine of the emerging church. There is no emerging church! It's just people trying to find answers to the questions they have about the way church works. You can't assess its doctrine because there is no "it", and there is no membership form. All you can do is engage with the questions.

In other news, I went to see faithless last night with some good friends... what a singularly magnificent experience. I reccomend it to anyone. However, should a certain Mr. Maxi Jazz be reading this (yeah right!!) then can I humbly request a rendition of "reverence" at the next one? Perhaps the only classic missed out on. I guess I'll just have to go see them again in the hope they play it another time.

I can't get no sleep...

some nice links

2005-11-18T12:05:00.000Z

Bored today I stumbled across www.emergingchurch.info online. I haven't read the rest of the site but the link below will take you to a bunch of links to blogs written by other travellers along the winding road that may or may not be "emerging church" (depending on whether or not emerging church actually exists - I didn't know I was part of the emerging church until someone told me I was... I thought I had just stopped going to a congregation in order to seek something more in the wilderness... oh chris, get your head out of your arse...)

anyway, go to http://www.emergingchurch.info/blogs/index.htm and you'll be able to read the thoughts of a bunch of other people who have interesting things to say about their experiences of God, life and church/unchurch

my my my, that was far too complicated for its own good. Just go there. it's good.

advice for life

2005-11-09T11:51:00.000Z

I am currently editing a wedding video (oh yes, it's a rock and roll life). At the end of the wedding we always ask the parents to share a bit of advice to the camera for the newlyweds. I have just come across my favourite bit of parental advice ever:

"Fight over how much salt and chilli is, and don't exaggerate, and leave it at that and you will be successful."

I need add nothing else.

Why I want to be a Jedi

2005-11-07T15:15:00.000Z

I recently watched episode II for the second time. I laughed at a lot of the dialogue and cringed at the rest, but one thing struck me beyond all else. I LOVE THE JEDI. They remind me of the prophets in the Bible, and are a great representation of (titter ye not) what I would aspire to in God. Here's why:

1. Their whole teacher/padawan thing. This is inherent to the way of the Jedi. Promising young jedi wannabe gets taken under the wing of a fully trained Jedi. The padawan acts as disciple, servant and partner until he's fully trained and ready to take on his own mantle, whereupon there is every chance he'll be given his own padawan to train up. Reminds me a lot of Elijah/Elisha, and I love the simple fatherliness of it all, and its reproductive nature. Jedi are not just trained to be effective Jedi themselves, they are trained in order that they can then reproduce that training in another, and so on and so on. Isn't that how we should view discipleship?

2. Their alliegance is first and foremost to the force. It appears that the Jedi don't have any given political alliegance. They are merely concerned with the Good side of the force. Who knows what side they're on? They're on the side of the force. Their comments and actions aren't based on loyalty to a perticular system or planet, rather on their loyalty to the force and to good. Again it smells like the old testament prophets to me. Elijah went where God told him to go and prophesied to whom God told him to prophesy. He had no political alliegance, he would spend time with the king of isreal, then go off and spend time with the opposing king - not out of personal preference but to deliver the word of the lord. And then he'd go and spend a year with a peasant family in the back of beyond. He and the Jedi both knew what it was to live by a different kingdom. And that smells like Jesus to me, too.

3. They live on the wild side. They have faith in something and live like it. They don't appear to have a permanent home, rather they live the lives of eternal nomads going where the force takes them and doing as they feel guided. Because of this understanding of the ways of the force - and the ways of the world/galaxy/universe they exhibit, for the most part, patience and wisdom. Some of the people I admire most in this world share something of that character, and it is all due to their relationship with God, their faith in him and their resultant insight into the human condition. That kind of wisdom is definitely worth aspiring to.

4. They wear capes, look a bit like monks, and carry lightsabers. Practices which should certainly be more commonplace among today's Christians.

An interesting follow-on from my last blog

2005-09-25T18:34:00.000Z

Steve Lowton is currently prayer walking to Rome with a bunch of other crazy people. This is an extract from his latest email. It excited me re my own situation, see last blog for more details.

"Five days of walking into Paris was full of many rich moments. On one occasion a cyclist passed us from England. When asked where he was going his reply was simply "I don't know! How cool is that! The day is coming when many will set out walking, praying, following the finger of God and will simply follow the wind of the spirit, not knowing quite where they are going but knowing they have to go. On this occasion we have a clear mandate that is Rome. Something has to shift over the UK and Europe. When it does then there will be such a release of those called to wander, exploring the storyline of scripture through the arts and the media."

IT HAS TO HAPPEN.

I have a question

2005-09-20T12:38:00.000Z

When I was away road tripping up europe (see last blog) I felt like I rediscovered something I had forgotten. I remembered how much life I find in the wild, unpredictable lifestyle - the near-daily process of getting in a van and not knowing where I'm going to sleep that night somehow blew all my cobwebs away and I remembered what I loved. Following Jesus and not knowing where he's going to take me next... but trusting him and following all the same. And I feel a strong desire to live that kind of life in a tangible way - I'm not talking about a metaphor here, I mean literally living life as a peregrenati (google it if you don't know waht it means) and going where the wind of the spirit blows.

AND YET I look at my life and what I'm doing with it, and I am somewhat dumbfounded by what I see. Here I am with a nice rented flat and a nice secure hometown, a place a call home, a bed I return to each night. A Jesus who loves me but who I STILL (despite everything that's happened over the past years) successfully limit to my own little boxes.

And then I meet people who inspire me. One guy when introducing himself to a group of people in portugal told us all "My name's Jon, right now I live in portugal but I'm moving soon... on friday I think. I don't really have a base right now." That one sentence shakes something in me.

And from a fortnight and a half of wild living I return to my cosy little flat, get into bed at night... and feel unhappy. I can't sleep, I toss and turn, my own comfortable-ness itches on my skin like a rash I can't shake off.

Hang on a minute - I'm far to young to have a mid life crisis.

Um... I started this blog saying I have a question. Can't remember what it was going to be now.

Oh yes.

I used to think like this. I used to fantasise about this crazy life lived like Jesus, wandering around, having God encounters and introducing people to the father through Jesus. And then I left uni and had to be realistic. I was told, or assumed (one or the other), that I had to let these dreams go... after all, God is really about establishing his kingdom in the marketplace... I have a marketable skill in camerawork, therefore I should do business in that sense and consign all these naive dreams to the file marked "juvenile imaginings" while running headlong into the realities of life.

So my question is this: where do the two marry up? How do I pursue a "wildness of the spirit" lfiestyle but not in a rushing into it like a naive kid kind of way? How do you do all this stuff and still be responsible with things like money and family and career? And what about all this film-making business? how does that fit into it? Where is the balance? Is there one?

JESUS....!

there and back again

2005-09-05T20:40:00.000Z

hello.
For the past two and half weeks or so I've been trekking up the west coast of europe in a white tin can with 12 other people. It's been lots of fun, we hooked up with some other crazy travelling people and talked about lots of things including jesus, and I shot 50 tapes of footage from which to make a documentary of the trip. It really was such a welcome break, and it's surprising what sitting in a car full of sweaty bodies can do for your personal hangups.

Now i'm just left with the small matter of 50 tapes to sort through...

rules of engagement

2005-08-10T12:35:00.000Z

1. Every day, look for at least one opportunity to serve someone in some way.

2. Where possible, try to do this in secret.

I was reading an account of John Wesley's first encounter with Christians from the Moravian Church - an encounter which radically transformed his faith and propelled him into his history-shaping ministry. He was on a boat with them on the way back from a failed missions trip in Atlanta, Georgia. On a boat there are a number of tasks to be performed every day in order to keep things running. Some of these tasks are rather less pleasant than others. Apparently, one of the things that most struck John Wesley about the moravian christians was that they specifically sought out the least pleasant of these daily tasks. When asked why this was, they simply replied, "It's good for our proud hearts."

it's been a while...

2005-06-10T11:09:00.000Z

it's been a while since i last blogged... about 3 months. my word.

so I figured I'd better blog something rather than nothing, but my dilemma is this:
I made the decision that I wouldn't use this blog as a "look at me and the interesting things i've been doing" job, and in response to the words of a prophetic friend would instead use it as a bulletin board for the things I've been thinking about and what God's been saying. And to be honest I haven't been in the place to come up with anything particularly interesting to say. Life's tricky enough just plodding along at the moment and there is little energy left to think any bigger than my four walls. Hence the no blogging.

But in the words of Tupac, "God's not finished with me yet." Your prayers in my direction would be appreciated.

See you on the other side.

WASTED 2

2005-03-11T18:48:00.000Z

Gaz Kishere has written a post on his blog in response to "WASTED" (below). Click through to Gaz's blog using the link to the right.

Contending in Prayer

2005-03-10T13:49:00.000Z

A recent thought process...

When Jesus healed the man born blind by making mud and putting it over the afflicted eyes, the man did not get well straight away. Jesus did it once, then asked the man what he could see. The man replied "people look like trees walking around". So Jesus did the same again, and then told the man to go wash in the Pool of Siloam, and that he would be healed entirely.

I've found recently that when I pray for things, the answers don't come all at once. Steve and I prayed specifically for a particular friend, and saw results in that person that lead toward the answer to the prayer... but the prayer has not been fully answered yet because the process we prayed for has not been completed. So we must continue to pray that that comes to completion.

I've found this in other things, too. I pray for something, and something happens that indicates that God is on the case, and I take that as an answer. However, then something happens which really shouldn't... I stop praying. I think because I have seen a measure of an answer that I can stop now. If I am at (A) and I am praying to get to (D), then when I get an answer which takes me to (B) it is an encouragement. But if I stop praying there, then do I stay at (B)? It is wonderful to have made progress, but it is not yet the fullness of an answer to prayer.

This is what has been happened in the past. HOWEVER...

Recently things have been a bit different. I don't know why, but they have - even over the past month. In that time, I have been praying for things and when I have seen a shift in the thing I am praying for, I have said "OK God, thankyou for the shift. But it's not there yet. I want more please." And it's like every time something moves a little bit, it gives me more faith for the next move... and the next, and the next, and the next, until the prayer is answered.

So I'm praying for my uncle who is ill. The initial news is very negative. Cancer in three major areas of the body. It looks grim, and everyone is fraught with worry but doesn't want to say what they're all thinking. And I pray, and get others to pray. And then the doctors give a latest statement... "Not curable, but possibly controllable." So my faith levels begin to rise. We've gone from "CANCER" (and all that comes with that) to "Not curable, possibly controllable". So now I begin to pray again. "Right God, this time, let's see a move from 'possibly controllable' to 'definitely controllable'. And then when we've got that, let's see a move from 'Not curable but controllable' to 'controllable, possibly curable'."

And so on. Because "Better is the end of a thing than the beginning of it". (oops - somewhere in the bible!)... Let's not be content with just beginning something, let's see it brought all the way through to completion.

WASTED

2005-03-08T12:42:00.000Z

A little while ago I spent a couple of days visiting a friend who attends a large, high-production type church. It is a vibrant, shiny congregation and has a high national profile as an example of "super-slick" church.

Immediately afterwards I was praying and God showed me a scene. The scene was the landscape of the city I had just visited. The church my friend is at is on a hill, a large, dominant structure overlooking the city. This was the centre point of the scene. I saw the church as a blood capsule like the kind used in theatre productions. I saw the blood capsule split and the blood spill out into the streets of the city, where it was soaked into the ground. It looked like the blood was wasted, but I knew it was God who had split the capsule and spilt the blood.

A number of things occured to me about this scene.

When Jesus died, his blood was spilt. And it looked to all the world like a terrible waste. Before the resurrection, it must have seemed unfathomable - this was the SON OF GOD and his blood had been spilt onto the earth. That's not meant to happen.

As Christians, we are the "Body" of Christ in the earth. For a start, that imagery should challenge us because we have to ask - What happened to Christ's body when he was incarnate?? Answer: It died (and was resurrected).

And the funny thing is: that is exactly what God intended. Jesus laid down his heavenly Glory to become a man, live as a man, and die as a man. What a waste - particularly when he could have been a powerful military/political leader in a revolution against the Romans, restoring Isreal to its former glory as a nation to be feared and revered as God's chosen people.

But, you know, it wasn't a waste, because Jesus didn't come for the glory of Isreal... He came for the Glory of God. And I believe this is a timeless principle for the Church, and it is something God is wanting to bring to the fore at this time.

I used to pray for revival because I thought it would mean "Glory days" for the church. Many people for so long have been praying for revival, and uttering the words "Father, pour out your spirit". I would have thought that the answers to those prayers would have been that the church would grow in number, our buildings would be fit to burst and the church would enjoy the favour of all the people. And yet what is the trend over the past ten years? Decline. The insititution is rupturing people at an alarming rate. And it seems like our prayers for revival are going unanswered - in fact the opposite appears to be happening. But what if this is what God intends for these days? What if we are actually seeing the answers to our prayers... just not the answers we were expecting?

In the scene I described at the beginning of this post, the blood capsule was split and the blood was spilt into the streets of the city. The capsule is our institutions, our buildings, our programmes and our containers - the things by which we have traditionally measured our effectiveness. The blood is the people. The city is... the city. God is rupturing the institution at this time, and we see christians being poured out into their localities, into all the earth, and being soaked into the land. What does this mean? It means that the emphasis is shifting. The platform and the stage - even the institution itself - is no longer to be where the heroes of the faith are found. They will be found in an among society, working, living and having their being in mundane, ordinary places. They will have normal jobs, but will live extraordinary lives. They will minister to people in their workplaces and their neighbourhoods. They will did "not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but [make themselves] nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." (Philippians 2:5-7) They will truly be the salt of the earth, and the light of the world.

And where we have prayed "Pour out your spirit", God has answered. But now the spirit is moving on to the next stage, so my cry now is "Father, pour out your people". And to many this outpouring will look like a waste. It doesn't fit the system we have hitherto been using to measure effectiveness - in fact it flies in the face of that and seems almost entirely in opposition. But if it is a waste, my cry is "Father, waste us! Pour us out into the land, let us be soaked in and let us be part of the very fabric of society. Use us as salt to season, use us as dye to colour. And I don't care if it's a waste, I don't care if there's no glory in it for the church, because I'm not here to glorify the church, I'm here to glorify God. Because just as Jesus was wasted to reconcile mankind to God, let us follow his footsteps and be 'wasted' to reconcile our society to God."

New Blog Page

2005-03-02T17:32:00.000Z

I had some problems with my other blog that I was (a) too ignorant and (b) too lazy to sort out. So I thought I'd start from scratch with another one.

I copied all my old entries over so you can still see my archives. Who knows, I might even get round to sticking in a few new entries before too long. :-)

cheerio. I'm off to eat curry. Yum.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

2005-03-02T17:23:00.000Z

EVERYONE THINKS SOMEONE ELSE IS WRONG
The anglicans thought the methodists were wrong, so they banned John Wesley from preaching at anglican churches.

The methodists thought William Booth was a bit wierd (and I daresay he didn't think much of them either), so he formed his own church strand, the salvation army.

The salvation army found Smith Wigglesworth's unconventional ways a bit tricky to handle, and he was eventually (though perhaps unwittingly) instrumental in the foundation of the Pentecostal movement.

Today I know baptists who think the anglicans are wrong, charismatics who think the catholics are wrong, methodists who think the anglicans are wrong, pentecostals who think the methodists are wrong... etc etc etc. (these are obviously sweeping generalisations - i also know people from many of these denominations who are working hard for unity). However, each of these denominations (among others), in many varied ways, have had a distinct impact on the globe for the Gospel.

I recently visited Herrnhut in Germany. During my time there I learnt a lot about the history of the Church in the city, which was particularly influenced by Count Nickolai Ludwig von Zinzendorf. I don't know when the trouble started, but Herrnhut experienced a good five years of fairly heavy conflict between the different denominational groupings. Amongst all this, Zinzendorf's heart was desperate to see unity around the main focus: Jesus. After these five years of conflict (during which one man loudly proclaimed that Zinzendorf was the antichrist!), on august 13th 1727, members of each grouping gathered together in a particular church in Berthelsdorf, the neighbouring village, to share communion and worship Jesus together. This gathering went down in history as the "unity" meeting, as during that time together the Holy Spirit moved powerfully causing the different factions to put aside their differences and unite around Jesus. They were united not by projects or doctrine, but by a corporate agreement about Jesus Christ and their love for one another.
It was out of that meeting that a prayer movement started, marked particularly by a round-the-clock prayer chain, amongst other things, which continued for the best part of a century. Out of this unified prayer, God inspired the villagers to go to the unchurched and irreligious and spread the Gospel. From the tiny village of Herrnhut (which still only has a population of around 2000), missionaries were sent out all over the world. Some were even so stirred to reach the slaves of the time that they sold themselves into slavery. Many died in the process due to martyrdom and severe conditions but they eventually saw much fruit for their labours and were responsible for evangelising many of the most "unreachable" areas of the world.

Many people think many other people are wrong, and their disagreements, particularly when it falls in terms of doctrine, seem huge. But the truth is everyone is always going to think someone else is wrong. I still have yet to figure this one out, but as far as I'm aware God still uses the majority of those people we think are wrong. And he uses us too. I know God uses me sometimes... I also know that I have got a lot of things wrong. And that's why he's God and I'm not.I don't think the issue of right and wrong is as big as we make it. Perhaps if we asked Jesus to unite us all round the bigger picture of himself, then we might spend more time being useful and less time worrying about who's right and who's not.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

2005-03-02T17:21:00.000Z

ISAIAH...

"This is the one who I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word.

But whoever sacrifices a bull
is like one who kills a man,
like one who breaks a dog's neck;
whoever makes a grain offering
is like one who presents pig's blood,
and whoever burns memorial incense,
like one who worships an idol.
They have chosen their own ways,
and their souls delight in their abominations;
so I also will choose harsh
treatment for them
and will bring upon them what they dread.

For when I called, no-one answered,
when I spoke, no-one listened.
They did evil in my sightand chose what displeases me."
(Isaiah 66v2-4)

The isrealites must have been pretty confused by this word from God. These things that he seems to be condemning are, after all, what he told them to do in the first place. If nothing else, they have been following the instructions as they knew them. But this issue for God isn't what they're doing, but what they're neglecting. They're doing all the right things, going through the right motions... the problem is that their not listening to God. The thing that hurts him the most is that no-one is listening when he speaks, no-one is answering when he calls. He doesn't care whether or not they're performing the right rituals - he cares about whether they're listening. The rituals and sacrifices are hollow because somehow - in all of their doing - the isrealites have forgotten who God is and how to listen to him.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

2005-03-02T17:20:00.000Z

WHAT'S THAT ON THE HORIZON?
In september 1999, God did something really cool. He got people across the world praying with a whole new level of commitment and zeal. One of the most obvious examples of this is what we now know as the 24-7 network. But at the same time he was speaking to people about prayer all over the world (I know of at least one group in the states, and I'm sure there are more elsewhere, that started praying 24hrs a day, in shifts, just like 24-7 but inspired entirely independently). 5 years on, and 24hour prayer is pretty much a given for many - it's starting to be pretty accepted and normal (we still have a distance to travel before it's totally the norm, but we're getting there). So this got me thinking... what next? What's the next step on God's agenda? where is this all going?

And something interesting occured to me.

When 24-7 started, it began with groups and churches signing up to pray for a week. These groups were already formed in most cases - they were youth groups, groups of friends, church congregations...

5 years down the line, and things seem to be spreading. I'm not quite sure how to express this, but what seems to be happening is that 24hour prayer is moving from the domain of the pre-existing group and into the domain of the city. The most obvious examples of this are the "boiler rooms" that have started to spring up - houses of prayer praying 24-7-365. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. What is going to happen is this: churches and groups will still pick up the 24-7 week thing and run "internally", sure - but God is bringing about an increase of the awareness of "the church in the locality", and we're going to see a significant increase of 24-7 weeks, seasons and years being run in the public domain. And this is going to be a key factor in the breaking down of denominational walls. So 24-hr prayer will not just become the norm in churches, but it will be a key factor in reforming the way we think of church, and will change the way we "locate" ourselves within that. It will become the norm for towns to have town-wide weeks of prayer, and as people gather from across the denominations, we will begin to see that what we have in common outweighs our differences. Through this we will see the beginnings of corporate vision of Jesus, and it is this that will unify us. And when God's people in a location (city) begin praying of one accord, He becomes free to move like never before. We clear space for God, and he comes in to fill that space. "when the spirit and the bride say come..."

I write this down and it sounds so obvious, like it's been said a million times before and I've only just picked up on it. But I thought it was pretty cool anyway.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

2005-03-02T17:18:00.000Z

THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S AND EVERYTHING IN IT.
I've been thinking about this phrase recently, and mulling a few related things around in my head. We're fairly familiar with the idea of "holy spaces".

Over several centuries, the church building has been regarded as "God's House" - the place where God is. I recently visited the Brompton Oratory - a huge catholic cathedral building in the centre of London. When I stepped into that place I was almost overwhelmed by the presence of God - people have prayed in that space for years upon years upon years, and the presence of God has met them there and is still in residence. I guess a more contemporary parallel with that experience is the modern phenomenon of 24-7 prayer rooms. One of the most frequent testimonies of a 24-7 virgin is "wow, you can really feel the presence of God in this place." There seems to be something about a place which has housed prayer over extended periods of time. Again, I recently spent some time in Herrnhut, a village community in Germany. 300 years ago that community started to pray non-stop, and continued for the best part of a century. The funny thing is, you can still feel the legacy of that continuous prayer now. If I was a celt, I'd call it a "thin place". It feel like the heavens are somehow thinner there, and access to the presence of God is made incredibly easy.

So I think there is something to be said for the concept of "holy spaces". I know I've certainly experienced something special in particular places. But God said something very interesting to me the other day. He said "The whole world is my 'holy space'." This is a basic biblical truth (see the title of this blog), and it's been said so many times, but for me it's starting to become a reality.

I have this theory that when we pray we make space for God. We push the fog of the world back, and create an access point where God can break in and bring his kingdom. I have no doubt that "holy spaces" exist, and I believe the reason they exist is simply because people have continually made space for God through prayer over extended periods of time. But what if we were to truly take on this word that "The whole world is my Holy Space"? What if we treated everywhere we went like a prayer room or a cathedral? Through prayer we can push back the fog of the world wherever we are. Walking down the street, doing our shopping, taking the kids to school, we can make space for God to break in to humanity and bring his kingdom. My car is a holy space. My office is a holy space. My town is a holy space. The whole world is God's holy space.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

2005-03-02T17:16:00.000Z

WALES DREAM
Had a dream the other night that I was visiting the Moriah Chapel in Wales (regularly cited, as far as I'm aware as the site of the first outpouring of the 1904 revival). It was the middle of the night and I was with a bunch of old vicary type bods. We got to the site of the chapel and the most interesting thing about it was this: It wasn't a chapel. It was a clearing in a forest. There were logs laid out to loosely mark the boundary, or perhaps as seats, or both, and there was a sign nailed to a tree in the middle of the clearing saying "Moriah Chapel". And that was it.

If we're going to find ourselves in the midst of a "revival", then mark this. It won't happen in the churches. I believe God is refusing to allow his spirit to be limited to the Church walls. "Revival" is not for the church. "Revival" is for the lost, and the wretched, and the poor, and the wounded. The revival that took place in wales in 1904 was characterised by the fact that it was centred around the chapels and chapel life. But God is now saying "the whole earth is my holy space". (In fact he's always been saying it). The earth is the Lord's and everything in it.

Thanks Heidi for interpretative assistance!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IMMATURITY
God said something amazing to me the other day. I was repenting of being immature, and he said loud and clear "Chris, immaturity is not sin! You don't have to repent for it. I want you to be mature, but that is what happens to you as you experience life. Sin is sin. Immaturity is simply immaturity."

What a relief!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

2005-03-02T17:14:00.000Z

Father, deliver me from my cynicism.
(it smells bad and gets in the way of seeing you)

deliver me from my leather-coated heart
(it lets nothing in and refuses to be touched again; temporary touching is far too disheartening)

deliver me from my bitterness
(sweet turned sour, it forgets the gold and remembers the lead)

deliver me from my disillusionment
(it scorns the dreams of yesterday, after all they never did work out, did they?)

Return me to the dreams of my youth, oh God.
Help me remember what it's like to believe anything is possible.
Help me remember what it's like to be positive about everything.
Help me remember what it's like to feel your fire.
Help me remember what it's like to not see politics.
Help me remember what it's like to be simple.

Help me remember who you are.
Help me remember who you are.
Help me remember who you are.

You are God.

Nothing is above you.
Nothing can hold you or contain you.
Nothing can constrain you.
Nothing can surpass you.
Nothing can usurp you.
Nothing is beyond you.
Nothing can control you.

You are God.

You will have your way.
Not one of your plans may be thwarted.

Father, soften our hearts.
Forgive us our foolish ways.
Forgive us our building.
Forgive us our ambition.
Forgive us our complexity.
Forgive us our stubbornness.

Bend us Lord.
Mould us Lord.
Shape us Lord.
Complete in us Lord,
the work that you have started.

Lord, don't let this seed die in the ground without purpose.
Don't let us wait another generation.
Give us wisdom to see a way through.

Speak Lord, for your servants are listening.

Monday, October 18, 2004

2005-03-02T17:10:00.000Z

Hm. I just had a look at the date of my last entry. 18th August. I think that makes it time for the next instalment. Sadly cos I'm at work it'll have to be brief. I'll do it in bullet point for speed's sake.

1. THINGS THAT I'M DOING AT THE MOMENT
- Wedding Videos. Yes, these are still going on. I've been doing them all summer, and they've been both a blessing and a curse. But God has said that this summer of weddings has been part of my route (he had it planned all along) and I'm starting to see why. I've been thinking a lot more about documentaries recently (something that someone prophesied over me a while ago but which I dismissed at the time) and have been slowly acquiring a "just do it" attitude. This is something I need to redress the balance in my outlook on life, which has hitherto consisted primarily of procrastination and hesitation. Maybe one day I'll find a happy medium.

- Prayer Documentary. I've been commissioned by some friends of mine who run a ministry called Share Jesus International to make a programme about prayer movements/moves of God past and present. They're running a "prayer tour" and need a dvd as a resource to distribute to churches to resource and encourage them in prayer. I'm really excited about this project cos I know it's a God thing. But at the same time I'm slightly panicked cos the deadline's really short!

- prayBournemouth.com. Working with some bournemouth guys on seeing a "culture of prayer established in Bournemouth". praybournemouth.com is a website aimed at connecting some of the prayer going on in town. At the beginning of november we begin a 40-day prayer vigil for bournemouth. Some prayer diaries have been put together and are being distributed around town and we've got some exciting highlights throughout the 40 day period. There's also going to be a week of 24-7 for the last 7 of the 40 days, and huge finale to round off. Should be an interesting time. Let's see some things shift in our town!- carnival leeds. Leading a prayer team for SJI's mission in Leeds 25th - 30th Oct. A bit concerned cos don't actually have a team yet, but we're working on it!

- God Channel Pilot. Also working with Andy at Share Jesus on a pilot for a show we're pitching to the God channel. We've shot it, but the editing is taking longer than planned. Finding it hard to fit it all in, to be honest.

THINGS I'M EXCITED ABOUT
- Shannon Byous. A friend of ours from the states recently visited for Sarah and Conrad's wedding (AKA event of the year). She's lived in Bournemouth for a year previously and has spent the last few years back home in Savannah. While she was here, God confirmed in her that he wants her back over here (which is great cos she wants to come, and we want to welcome her) to serve the community in Bournemouth. She's a great person and a gift to the body so I personally can't wait to have her over so we can all hang out.

- Prayer Doc. See above

- Wales. Still expecting some things to kick off in that nation. I love the place, and want to see God bless it. It's also high in the national christian consciousness at the moment cos of the centenary business, but let see God do what he wants to do now rather than living off the glory of something he did a century ago!

- Autumn. I love this time of year. I get excited when the weather starts to get that cold, crisp, sunny thing going on.

OK, I think that will do for now. Perhaps not so brief after all.

Right.Weddings.

Monday, August 16, 2004

2005-03-02T17:08:00.000Z

oops - my mistake... I'm really not very good at this blogging thing. I guess it defeats the point when I forget to do it. Anyway, making up for lost time, thought I'd jot a little about some of the stuff I've been up to.

BREAKOUT
Mentioned in my last blog, Breakout is the bi-annual Methodist Youth conference. Blackpool this year. I'm not a methodist, but I went because I'd been invited to be involved with a team some friends of mine were leading. A trusted prophetic friend has been carrying a word about Breakout 2004 for the past four years - God had told him that it was to be a time that He would use to revive the Methodist church (anyone who knows anything about the methodist network will know that this is desperately needed) and call them to return to their roots of 24hr prayer. By the time it came around, I (and others) were expecting God to move in a huge way. On the first day, I felt God's anointing very strongly on our gathering. We prayed pretty much all the way through the day that God would send his revival spirit, and so when the main evening came we were hugely expectant. Personally, I was hoping for some crazy spiritual manifestations - tongues of fire, shaking room, the whole Biblical shebang, and spent most of the evening at the back of the room praying (when I wasn't crushed under a force-10 headache... ooh, I wonder where that came from?!) pretty much to that effect. Of course, God had his own way of doing things, which left me feeling rather disgruntled. There were no tongues of fire, and the room didn't shake. However, what I didn't realise was that while I was moaning at God for his limited sense of melodrama, there was some really significant stuff taking place at the front of the room. (It was a big room). Significant numbers committed or re-committed their lives to Jesus, and others asked for prayer to receive the Holy Spirit (a huge step for Breakout and the Methodist Church, where the doctrine of the Holy Spirit is largely in question). Bearing in mind Breakout took place about a month ago, you might be able to grasp my level of surprise when told THIS WEEK that someone had also been raised out of a wheelchair that night. Granted, the healing was partial (the person was chairbound due to pain, rather than paralysis, and the pain was reduced significantly, but not totally... why does God choose to do it that way? - any ideas?), but you'd have thought someone would have mentioned it sooner?!

So, Breakout was an interesting one. We are very much expecting big things for the methodist church over the coming year. With the methodists, as across the nation, things are definitely gathering pace.

SOUL IN THE CITY
Sticking with the subject of things gathering pace, I can't stick this blog up without mentioning the past week. I spent the week in the company of around 10,000 other young christians across the city of London, working on the mammoth project that was Soul in the City. As these things always tend to be, the week was a life-changing experience, for the Christian missioners as well as the non-Christian inhabitants of the city. Leading a team was such a growth experience for me as an individual, and we had the priveledge of seeing God do some awesome things. Personally, God has been dealing with some deep rooted issues of pride and arrogance (mainly by making me pretty much ineffectual for the first two days - cheers God), and has revealed more of himself to me as a result. We saw several people give their lives to Jesus through our little project we were running, and many more responded to "altar calls" during the main meetings. Apart from these, one the most exciting things I saw was something of deep significance for the nation of Wales. Late one evening, a small group of us were gathered over coffee discussing the father heart of God. One of the group was a girl named Jen from Swansea in Wales. As we talked, I began to feel the presence of the spirit intensify, and when Jen began to talk about "fire in the belly", something clicked. I won't go into details, but that evening God zapped her with his Holy Fire, and since then she has not been the same. For the rest of the week, she had intense heat pouring out of her hands when she prayed for people. I do not mean this in a metaphorical sense - I mean, quite literally, that if she put her hand on you in prayer it would hurt because she was giving off such intense heat. I don't fully understand what happened, but I know she has returned to wales in the power of the spirit of God, and that this is strategic for the nation at this time. I am expecting to see similar manifestations of the spirit increase in number over the coming year - I am expecting God's fire to spread in Wales. This tangible fire is born out of the loving heart of God, and seems to have purpose for healing. On the last night of Soul in the City, Jen, myself and a few others prayed for another Welsh girl (one of Jen's friends named Bex) who was born deaf in one ear - complications in the womb had damaged the nerve endings in one ear, meaning she could hear nothing out of it. Again the Holy Spirit manifested in fiery heat when Jen was praying, and by the time we finished Bex could hear out of her dead ear. Again the healing was partial, even though we prayed on for hours and tried pretty much everything the Bible says about praying for healing, and again, I have no idea why God chose to do it that way - but I am trusting for a complete recovery over time. These things are a sign to me of what God is doing at this time. I should also mention that these were not isolated incidents - groups from across the city have been telling similar stories of the healing power of God. Over the week I sensed such an "acceleration" in the work of the spirit over the UK. I feel a huge step forward has been made towards where we are going, and I am expectant and very positive about the coming months. Praise God, he is very much at work. Hallelujah.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

2005-03-02T17:07:00.000Z

TOTNES
Four days away this weekend. Totnes, then London for SOULintheCITY training. Totnes was supergroovy. Spent a day and a half praying into the town. Unfortunately Sarah and I had to leave early (the rest of the team were staying till Sun), but I feel like we really saw something shift in the days we were there. Had some crazy Holy-Spirit encounters, with God showing up at the most inappropriate times... like while we were eating dinner on the first night. It was really good to be around people so free.

LONDON...
Was also good. I spent a couple of days up with the Share Jesus guys preparing for Soul in the City - meeting church leaders, etc. There were loads of us there, so it was great to see some friendly faces I haven't seen for a while. Looking forward to seeing some of them in 3 weeks when we travel up to Blackpool for the bi-annual Methodist youth gathering, Breakout. An occasionally liberal affair, we're expecting to see God hit us with some genuine breakthrough this year... Bring on the Wesleyan Anointing!Right... back to the wedding videos!

Monday, June 21, 2004

2005-03-02T17:05:00.000Z

Told you I'd try to write something before another month had passed. So, this is me trying to write something.

Llangollen this weekend. It's quite a drive from Bournemouth. (about a 500 mile round trip) Dave and I went to join the guys at The Call Cymru (www.thecallcymru.com). It was really good to travel some with dave.

Had the pleasure of stopping off in Coventry for a night either side; visited an old friend there. She's getting married soon and I'm going to miss the wedding (my own stupid fault) so it was lovely to be able to spend some time with her and her fiancee. She's also the best host in the world, so if you're ever going to Coventry, get in touch and I'll pass her number on!

The Call itself was an odd one. It was great, and hugely significant, I'm sure. Sadly the guys had booked a pavilion to seat around 4000 people, and only about 5 0r 600 turned up. Absolutely gutting. I was so disappointed for them. Still, I think some very good things were achieved simply by the fact that it happened. It was great to hook up with some friends from Llanelli as well. They are amazing guys, carrying a heavy anointing which smacks of the Welsh Revival spirit (humble, simple love; ministry to the poor; high sense of community values). I really like them and, given Bournemouth's history (if you don't know what I'm talking about, check out www.apostolic-church.org/History.html), I really value these connections into Wales, and Llanelli particularly.

Oh, and I've got some work for the summer. More wedding videos - editing, this time. I'm looking forward to the regular income... but I'm quite concerned about the effect editing hundreds of wedding videos is going to have on me!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

2005-03-02T17:04:00.000Z

OK, it's been about a month since my last post. I'm not sure I'm very good at this blogging lark. Let's see... I suppose I'd better give some highlights over the past month...

FAITH FOR FINANCE
Been really challenged recently about the whole finance thing. I've been sinking into my overdraft for lack of work/finance/spending my time doing prayer things, so have been praying for my rent, food, etc... Thing is, when I was praying, I realised that I actually don't have a lot of faith for it. I mean, I know *theoretically* that God provides for my every need, but the fact I get so stressed about it all indicates to me a lack of faith (if I *reallY* trusted him, I'd be calm about it because i'd *know* he was going to provide). So, I decided to take a step back, and started praying that God would increase my FAITH for finance. Since then I've started to receive random financial gifts, and my workload (I'm freelance, if you don't already know, so I never know where the next job is going to come from) has gone from NOTHING to being so busy I can't fit it all in! I think God's trying to get a message across! (Thankyou, Jesus!)

FOLK FESTIVAL HEALING
Every year, thousands of people descend on my 'home town' of wimborne to drink real ale, listen to folk music, and watch people in funny costumes hit each other with sticks (look up "morris dancing" on google and see what you get). Having fallen increasingly in love with the hazy, lazy summer atmosphere, it's become something of a tradition to head back to wimborne and join the crowds.One of my favourite things about the folk festival is the opportunities it provides to bump into old friends and catch up on the latest. This year was no different, and I spent most of my time wandering around and chatting with old faces. By far the most exciting encounter was with a friend from school who I haven't seen since we left 6th form four years ago. We had the usual 'catch-up' chatter ("how are you? what are you doing? where are you living?") and my friend, Zoe, was fascinated when I started to tell her about some of the prayer stuff I'm involved in. Neither she nor the friend she was with were Christians, but both were amazed to hear stories of God healing people instantly. After listening for a while, Charlotte asked if I would pray with her. I think she was rather surprised when I said yes! She told me she had had a problem with her hip all her life which had led to curvature of the spine and difficulties walking. I put my hands on her hips (where the problem was), and prayed healing for her in Jesus' name. After I finished praying, I asked how she felt. She told me that when I prayed for her, she was able to balance. Apparently the problem with her spine left her unable to stand still without stumbling - to such an extent that people were constantly asking if she was drunk. After prayer, however, she was able to balance with no problem. I took this as a sign that she had been healed, prayed "sealing" on it, and told her that when she woke up in the morning she would know she had been completely healed. Afterwards she gave me an enourmous hug with tears in her eyes; my friend Zoe was also visibly touched. My hope is that Jesus was the major talking point for the rest of their evening. It's always a wonderful priveledge to see God heal people, but this was an especially precious experience for me. It was just extraordinary to be able to share Jesus with someone I had known for so long at school. The whole encounter had the sweet smell of God about it, and I went away praising him. It did mean I was late to the pub, but I felt I had a valid excuse. ;-)

Tomorrow Dave G and I head up to Llangollen for "The Call Wales". Should be an exciting trip.

Right. That's all for now. I'll try to make sure it's not another month till my next post.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

2005-03-02T17:01:00.000Z

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Recently, I haven't spent that much time in Bournemouth. I've had a pretty interesting week or so... spent most of the time at the other end of the M3. Up on weds, and down again in the evening. Then up again on friday for a wedding, down late friday night, up early saturday morning, down again sat evening, then up again monday morning and down again tuesday evening. My poor car!

And I've been doing some exciting things... BUT I have this nagging question going on in my head that I can't settle adequately. It does seem that opportunities have come up recently to do fun prayer things all over the country (I've also been invited to Leeds this weekend to visit church leaders), and that is great because I love it and it's really given me a chance to get more of a feel for what's going on across the UK... but at the same time there's some really exciting thing going on in bournemouth that I've pretty much neglected because I've been elsewhere so much. And I can't quite figure out where I'm meant to be. Do I take the opportunities to travel that God affords me, or do I focus on the locality and what God's doing here?

Any thoughts?

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

2005-03-02T16:58:00.000Z

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Here we have it. My first blog. For a while I resisted the urge, thinking it was a bit vain to broadcast stuff about myself in some kind of hope that anyone might be interested to read it. But then I realised that I write a LOT of emails which say pretty much exactly the same thing... so I figured maybe a blog isn't such a bad idea after all, and maybe I should give it a go.So here I am, giving it a go.

The past few weeks have been a bit crazy. I've been all over the place (Romford, Llanelli, Southport, Manchester, Yeovil, Dusseldorf, London, some other places I can't remember) doing fun prayer things. It's been such a remarkable time - I've learnt loads by being around some really Godly and prophetic people. And it's been very exciting to see how God's been opening up doors around the country. Exciting, and surprising. And I'm not sure what it's all for - but it's great fun! Maybe someday I'll get round to jotting down some of the more exciting stories. But for now, here's a good one - probably my favourite so far...

A Story, by Christopher Stone (Age 22 and a half)
warning - this is quite long...

We're in Dusseldorf. I'm on a prayer team led by Martin Scott (who also runs the "Company of Prophetic People" which I'm part of for a year). We're there to pray/prophesy into Dusseldorf alongside the church in the city. One of the girls on the team (Lorraine) is complaining of back pain and asks us to pray for her. Luckily for her a crazy german guy (another Martin, also a member of the team) overhears, and bursts out, "Oh, I love to pray with sick people... Let's pray for you!" Almost like a doctor, he starts asking some questions... where does it hurt? how long has it been hurting?... It turns out she's had back pain on and off more or less for ever. By sitting her down and stretching her legs out we discover that one of her legs is a noticeable inch shorter than the other. Oddly, this also came as a surprise to her. She also informs us that she has "knock knees", which means that she can't bend her legs properly as her knees knock together when she does so; she also has a damaged shoulder which pops out of joint when she moves it in a certain direction. Both of these ailments she kindly demonstrated... they looked highly unpleasant!So, we decide to start by praying for the uneven legs. To my suprise, Martin (the German one, not Martin Scott) asks her if she would like the long one shorter or the short one longer. Even more surprisingly, she answers that she would like the long one shorter! (In a straw poll conducted after the event, 9 out of 10 cats said they'd prefer to be taller. Still, it takes all sorts.) We begin praying.
Martin, with her foot in his hand, prays in German, so I don't catch much of what he prays, except the repetition of "Im Jesu' namen" (In Jesus' name). Suddenly Lorraine cries out, "That's the wierdest feeling in the world!" Of course, we're all intently watching her feet to see if anything happens. To my utter delight, her long leg begins to shrink! We're all fascinated, while Martin seems fairly nonplussed, like he's seen this kind of thing a million times before. Lorraine gets up, and squeals excitedly, "I'm shorter!"And it doesn't end there. By the time we're done praying, her knees have straightened out, and her shoulder moves smoothly with no dislocation. Praise God!There are other exciting stories from these past couple of months, but I think, for me, that ranks pretty high in the top five so far!I just realised how much I've written, so figure I'd better stop now. Got a crazy few days ahead, yo-yo-ingbackwards and forwards from london for a number of various things (mixture of media type work and prayer stuff), so sleep is required in abundance. Plus I have a 7am meeting tomorrow - eek!

Roger Charlie Mozzarella.
Over and out.

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2005-03-02T16:54:00.000Z

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